Sunday, April 3, 2011

Oh Those Greedy Teachers

A local teacher wrote a letter to the editor that was published in today's Livingston Daily.

I couldn't help but respond with this tongue-in-cheek diatribe:

Oh yes they can. Teachers are greedy, teachers are greedy, teachers are greedy.

THERE! I said it thrice. (And teachers with your masters degree in basket weaving should know that means twice plus 1.)

All teachers are greedy with their desks and their endless supply of multi-colored construction paper.

Oh yeah, and don't forget their #2 pencils... I guess those #3 pencils just aren't good enough for your majesty.

And greedy teachers.... you are destroying America. Look at you... with your chalk-stained irregular blouses from Loehmanns. And your Hyundai with its power steering and windshield. I guess bugs hitting you in the face just doesn't cut it for you Mr. Chips.

Plus don't forget those special textbooks with all of the answers in them. And who outside of Google employees works at an office that has both a gym and a cafeteria. Plus don't forget that we know about those shiny red apples you teachers get day after day after day..

THE GREED that led you into the teaching profession is the root cause of all of the problems in America. You went to college being all idealist that you would make the world a better place while drawing a 5 figure salary and being able to go to the doctor whenever you are sick. And now look at the world, it's getting worse by the day and it's all your fault. You were supposed to fix all of those problems with your wonderful abilities to "mold the minds" of our children.

You should take a clue from those selfless teachers that work in the South who do the same job as you do for about half of what you earn.

Wait... what?

They get called greedy down there too?

Well they are! Because anyone that has it better than me can only be greedy!

(With apologies to Jon Stewart)